Oh God!..Please Don't Take My Picture!

Or make me stand next to the skinny girl when you do!
Ah yes.. the dreaded picture taking.....
Yuk!
I hate my picture being taken because, in my head, I don't look like that chubby girl in the photo!
And then when I see the pictures, I feel really bad about myself.
But now that I'm on this journey, I realize that not being aware of my situation has been what's been holding me back.
Oh denial...
you naughty thang!
So I'm not shying away from the camera anymore, because:
1. I've already come a long way
2. I need to be aware of how far I've come
3. Most importantly, So does everyone else! 
Uh, okay, not the most important thing, but the compliments are sure nice. :-)


One of the things that I've learned on this journey,
that I'm not the most happy about, by the way,
Is that you can't drink wine and beer and expect results!!
Go figure!
So working on just ordering tea or soda water when I go out with my friends.
It's a process.
Whew...So many changes to make.

But the good news is that my workouts are getting to be more of a habit than a chore!!
And the better news is that I tried the pants on I want to wear for my progress picture and they almost button!!!!
Yea!
Visualize, Visualize, Visualize.

Being Satisfied..No Way!!!

A friend of mine questioned my quests recently.
I'm starting a new business venture, and of course my
"Skinny Quest"
She said to me "What's wrong with just being satisfied with what you have and just be?"
That's all well and good, but in the words of Deb Cheslow,
"Your either growing or disintegrating."
While I'm grateful for what I have,
Personally I'd rather be growing and changing, because things aren't the way I want them to be...yet.
And what would life be like if no one dreamed of doing better?

After all wasn't the space shuttle someones dream once?
Just sayin'.

Blue Springs State Park
See more at dodaytona.com

So it's been a very busy few days.
We visited the Manatees and had a blast!
But I've kept up with my workouts, and kept eating on plan.
Except for my free day, (helloooo chocolate!)
Oh free day
How I love thee

But I must not lose focus,
That Progress Picture is sneaking up,
                Good Grief!!!!!

A Bad Attitude is like a Flat Tire.......

you can't go anywhere until you change it.

                                                 Dr. Seuss

What a wise man you are Dr. Seuss!  

I have the pleasure of living in the same town as the authors of Release.  When I heard Angie Flynn was speaking at a local health food store, I jumped on the chance to see her.

Been having a lot of issues with my attitude lately and hearing her speak was just the kick in the pants I needed.

After all, progress picture day is approaching.

And I am terrified.

First I hate my picture being taken for any reason, and second....

My picture is going to be on this blog!!!

Showing my second 90 day results!!!

No pressure.....

                                No pressure at all!!

Keep Going

Keep Going

Don't look back...

Been having a great workout week!  Alternating between the interval workout, the 12 minute fat blaster workout, and long walks.  Too cold to run, asthma you know, so I just walk as fast as I can. 

Eating on plan and drinking water, but gotta drink more water, lots more!!

But I need to work on my inner thermostat to make sure I'm keeping my spirits high, so this works for good!

I Can't Do It Alone!!

I've never been the kind to ask for help.  It makes me feel like I'm burdening others.  But with talking to some of the girls at work today, we all realize that we need each other for support.
Everyone at work is on one program or another.
There are so many after all.
I'm sticking with Release.
But that doesn't mean I can't ask for help,
FROM EVERYONE
That's what I'm doing now,
 help, help, help!! :-)

Feeling like I'm on a plateau, but I know I'll break through!
With the help of my friends!

Favorite 12 minute fat blaster workout today.  Ate on plan and drank my water.
Bought a lot of strawberries over the weekend so had another great protein smoothie.
Soooo Good!

Pick Your Hard...What?!

My friends at Release game me something to think about a few weeks ago.
They told me to pick my hard!
Uh??
It's simple, they said, it's hard to lose weight, and it's hard to not lose weight.
On one hand you have to change habits, make a lot of effort to do the right thing for your body,
and that's hard.
On the other hand, you stay the same (or get bigger), feel lousy, and hate yourself,  and that's hard.
So pick your hard.

I think I broke through the terror barrier! Yea!!

Yummy Protein Smoothie
Great Snack!

After an entire week of struggling, I'm finally back on track.  Worked out for the last two days, got my eating plan under control, and got a plan for the rest of the week.
After all, my progress picture is one month away,
4 weeks,
30 days,
and I'm terrified!!!

Fear... of succeeding? Help!

So I guess I've been the fat girl for a long time.
It's my go to for every failure.
For example;
"I didn't get that job because I was fat,"
"Those women don't like me because I'm fat"
"I didn't get the acknowledgement that I should of, because I'm fat"
"Nothing good happens to me professionally because I'm fat"
"Normal people don't like fat people"
"That's why I am not where I want to be in life,
because of being fat."

It sounds so lame when I write it out.
The answer is not to be fat anymore right? Yeah sounds easy.
How about taking responsibility for all the things I should be doing and just aren't.

It's been 4 days since I blogged last.
I'm ashamed to say I've run straight into
"The Terror Barrier"
Dun Dun Dun... 
(The terror barrier: when the voices in your head keep you from doing something.)
Oh lord!!!
How do I get out.
Help please!!

Anyway blogging does help.  I hope it helps others too!

Dumb Stupid #@%king Scale!!!

I knew I shouldn't have done it! I knew it, but I did it anyway! I'm not due to step on that stupid scale until my next progress picture 2/22/13, but I did it...

with expectation.

This confirms that stepping on that monster in the bathroom really does affect my attitude all day... about...

EVERYTHING!!!

I stepped on it and was disappointed.

That'll teach me!

So I am officially off bathroom scale watch until my progress picture!

Great morning in Daytona Beach!
I never get tired of taking
 pictures of it!

What a great weekend so far.  Went on two very long fabulous walks on the beach.  Walked around two parks.  And then walked some more.  I feel great!  

I wouldn't have been able to do that a year ago.

Even though we went out to dinner with friends, I ate on plan.  Which means when I ordered I had them bring me a to go box right away and promptly put half of my meal in the box before I started eating.

Just like Release taught me.

Planning next weeks menu today.  Which includes lots of protein and healthy carbs.

Here we go!

It May Be Simple, But It's Not Easy

Why is it that we all know what we should do, but we just don't always do it?  A very good friend of mine who is in the process of Releasing weight, lost her momentum during the holidays.  She's not alone, so many people do.  

So what!!

It's not what you did yesterday, it's what your doing today, and where you plan on being tomorrow.

Right?!!

I keep hearing my friend and coach Deb Cheslow in my head saying,

"What if every time you said I should, you did?"

So if anyone has fallen off the wagon, don't beat yourself up, just climb back on.

By the way,

I fall of all that rickety wagon all the time, but I'm still moving forward.

Did you ever have a day when you just are so darned pleased with yourself?

That was me today!  

I ate perfectly on my meal plan, 

drank a boat load of water 

and

did my workout! 

Yea me! 

Bank of Bad Habits

One of my favorite Jimmy Buffet songs.  Ain't it the truth.  

I have oodles of them, bad habits that is.  And sometimes they sneak in my daily life without warning.

I can be going along just fine, and then;

Bang!! Pow!! Whoop!!

I realize I'm doing something that makes me feel bad about myself. 

Like overeating, or being lazy, or more often than not, just doing nothing to get me closer to my goal.

I know now that what happens with me is that I fell overwhelmed, then I get scared and then I get paralyzed,  emotionally, and then I slip into old habits that are easy.

What I'm learning with Release is that I'm human and it's okay to be imperfect.

Forgive myself and then move on and do what will get me closer to what I want.

Easier said than done.

But like Angie and Deb keep telling me, 

It's a process......

Beautiful morning in Ponce Inlet the
other  day!

So to be honest I've had a couple of lazy days.

Started off right today with a healthy Protein Shake with blueberries.  Healthy black bean soup and salad for lunch and a couple of Protein bars for snacks.  Dinner is veggie cheese sandwich with rye and tomato.

No exercise today, I'm getting up early for a beautiful walk on the beach tomorrow however, and some interval training.

Hello squats!!

Procrastination My Old Friend

Dear Procrastination,

While you've been my trusted friend for most of my life, there comes a time when, even old friends, must part.  Don't be sad Procrastination.  You have so many other friends, I'm sure you won't be lonely.  You see my friend, I must move on....

And get a grip on my life!!!

So chin up Procrastination! You'll be fine without me. 

'Cause I know I'll be fine without you!

See Ya!

Procrastination has been my biggest challenge.  Not just with weight loss but with life.  I say I want to do something, but then I put it off until it's the last minute, and then I do a half assed job, or until it's to late to do at all.  What I'm learning about planning ahead is that it takes the brain work out of meals, exercise, etc., so all I have to do is, uh, DO IT!

It was raining today, so instead of a long walk on the beach, I did an interval training, which was a little brutal, but I need to step up my game.  (That progress picture is looming over my head).

Stayed on the Release Plan with my meals.  And also have kept 5 of my 6 daily commitments to myself, but the night is young.  Everyday I'm working toward my goal.  

What's your biggest challenge?

Dear Diary.......

I have great news!!  

Not only did I not go overboard this holiday season, I actually lost 1.5 pounds!!

Amazing!

(Okay I know I'm not supposed to get on the scale, but damn!)

Wow, I can't tell you how this differs from years past.  It feels great to be in control. Mostly in control anyway.

Thank you Release for getting me further than I've gotten.....EVER!!

So far the tally for weight release is 15.5 pounds.  You have no idea how awesome that is!!

2013 is going to be outstanding!

So back to work, which is good because the structure makes it easier to follow the Release Plan.

Six meals today, but no exercise. 

No worries, long walk-jog tomorrow.

I'm finding that if I eat the same meals for breakfast and snacks everyday on my non-free days, it makes my life so much easier.

Like, tofu scramble for breakfast, protein shake for snack, whatever I make for lunch, protein bar for snack in the afternoon, whatever I make for dinner, and then protein shake in the evening. 

Easy Peasy.

That is, of course, if I don't work late.

Oh well, life's not perfect, why should I expect myself to be?

Hope everyone had a great Holiday Season, and let's get this party started!!

Just a reminder (to me) that 2-22-13 is my progress picture date.

Oh Lord